What cyclists say and what they actually mean…If you follow @soverybritish on Twitter or @verybritishproblemsofficial on Instagram, you will know that us British do not always say what we mean. It’s ingrained in our psyches to apologise when it is somebody else who should be sorry, and say we’re fine, when we’re on the way to hospital. It’s also part of our DNA to constantly think about, and talk about the weather.
Cyclists are certainly not exempt from these British problems and confusing double meanings. You’ll know if you are a sufferer of a ‘very british problem’ if you can relate to any of the following.
Did you see the mist this morning? Translation: I was up a lot earlier than you and I’d like you to know that I was.
Being able to summon rain simply by downloading the next day’s cycle route onto your Garmin.
Being unable to recall the last time you ended a conversation without muttering ‘roll on summer, that’s what I say’.
Noticing a small patch of blue sky and immediately start making plans for a century + ride at the weekend.
Saying you feel a bit under the weather to indicate that you may cut your cycle ride short, or more likely not go out at all.
Declaring you are doing a quick recovery ride to excuse your lack of effort and short ride.
Automatically replying ‘only five minutes’ to the question ‘have you been waiting long?’. Despite having been waiting since yesterday.
Believing turbo trainers are no substitute for ‘proper outdoor cycling’ until you have enough money to buy one and its raining, telling yourself its just the same and choosing a London route on Zwift hoping nobody will then notice on your Strava feed.
Having to ride around the block late on a Sunday night, because you’ve just noticed that somebody on your Strava cycling club leaderboard has done 3kms more than you this week.
Inspired by, and in places blatantly copied from the rather funny ‘Very British Problems’ by Rob Temple.